Anxiety

So my excellent, highly esteemed doctor wasn't able to find anything physically wrong with me when I went in for tests last week. He attributed it to stress and told me to triple my meds. It seemed to be working as I was able to start eating again after a couple of days. I know that stress does weird things to your body and lately I've been under a ton of it, both physical and mental. The thing is, I'm not sure upping my meds was the right thing to do.

I was doing much better aside from still not being able to sleep. This is usually a sign of mental stress. My brain just won't shut down! When this happens I usually have to drug myself to get a good nights sleep, then I wake up groggy and my performance at work suffers because of it. I try not to go this route unless I absolutely have to.

Then yesterday came. My friend Lee asked me if I would like to participate in making a Christmas album. Anyone who's known me for 3 seconds knows that music is my life and this is right up my alley. I told him I'd pray about it, talk it over with Josh and get back to him by Friday. Then my mind immediately started spinning, going over how many hours it would take me to write the arrangement for my assigned song, how long to learn my parts on the other songs I'm assigned to work on, etc. Next thing I know it's Wednesday, I'm throwing up again and I can't sleep. I'm right back at square one and I haven't even said yes to the project yet!

I went through something like this about 8 years ago. At the time my GP wanted to put me on something for anxiety. I told him no and chose to burn off the stress by working out. This led to extreme weight loss and eventually a full blown Crohn's flair that almost killed me. It was five full years of h-e-double-hockey-sticks. Three years after it was all over I've still only put on about half of the weight my doctor wants me to. Oh the beauty of my disease! Needless to say I can't afford to go down that road again.

This is all to say that I think it's time I took Dr. M up on that prescription.